This piece is about wanting to rescue a friendship that you feel is slipping away. However, this desire appears to the narrator to be one-sided, which is exactly what breaks their heart.

Our smiles are plastered on every corner of your wall: a time when we were bonded at the hip. When we would have regular late night talks about absolutely everything and would end with me stumbling to get some sleep; when you were the first person I would confide in, as I knew your patient eyes would give me the time of the day; when you would be the first person I would rush to for a hug after a long day, then rant about whatever annoying thing I was frustrated at.

Now, our reality is glaringly different. 

Most days we get by with exchanging but a few sentences. Tied by our yearbook quotes, we’re best friends to everyone, but only we know how much has changed. Or do you even realise how much has changed?

The multitude of times I’ve felt like I was drowning under the weight of my fears that you no longer cared: when you would not reply to my messages for days, when I knew you would never leave her hanging for more than a few minutes; when we were together eating, playing mahjong, shopping, but you were so far away, completely glued to your phone, blatantly showing me who you’d rather spend time with.

I repeatedly screamed your name as I was drowning, my hand feverishly grabbing for yours, but yet you didn’t even try to grab my hand. As I was swallowed by the sea, you turned your back on me just to catch a glimpse of her smile.

I thought we’d be friends forever, but maybe I’m more naive than I thought. Good things never last after all.

I’m mourning the loss of our friendship, but it breaks my heart that you don’t even notice it.

(featured image is my own)